8 Ways to Deal with Verbally Abusive Family ...

By Merarri

8 Ways to Deal with Verbally Abusive Family ...

How to Deal with a Verbally Abusive Family is sadly a complex problem that many amazing guys and girls have to deal with. Verbal abuse can take many forms such as yelling, extreme criticism, insults, threats of physical violence and name-calling. The devastating effects when living with a verbal abuser include low self-esteem, lack of confidence in your abilities, feelings of shame and a general feeling that you aren’t worthy of being loved. Think of verbally abusive words as toxic psychological daggers that continue to do severe damage to your psyche long after the hurtful comments have been spoken. I’m going to help you survive this psychological nightmare by revealing the 8 ways you can learn how to deal with a verbally abusive family below.

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1

Ignore Verbally Abusive Words

I know it's difficult but don’t pay attention to the verbally abusive words. Let them go through one ear and out the other. The worst thing that you can do is believe what your verbal abuser is telling you. If you believe the hurtful comments that are being tossed your way, you will mentally beat yourself up around the clock even when you aren’t near your verbal abuser. If you start believing the negative comments, they will affect many aspects of your life. Ignoring them is essential when you're learning how to deal with a verbally abusive family.

2

Kick Negative Thoughts out

Take control of your thoughts so you are your own best friend. Kick out the negative ones that stem from verbal abuse and replace them with positive statements that boost your self-esteem. Tell yourself that no matter what your verbal abuser says, the truth is that you are beautiful, amazing, intelligent, talented and worthy of love. At first it may be difficult to replace the negative thoughts but it will get easier as you continue to do it.

3

Make a List of Awesomeness

Make a list of all the things you love about yourself and all the things that make you awesome. Look at this list after each episode of verbal abuse and whenever you need an instant mood lift. Reading this list frequently will help you silence that critical inner voice that tells you that you aren’t good enough, pretty enough or thin enough. Add a few items to your list at the end of the day. Hide this list from your verbal abuser because his opinion is the last one that you need.

4

Always Stay Calm

Avoid talking back to your verbal abuser. I know it’s a natural reaction to defend yourself when you hear verbally abusive words thrown at you, but try your best not to respond to anything he says. Trying to retaliate and defend yourself against his hurtful comments will only add fuel to the fire so to speak, and will usually only lengthen the verbal attack. It’s best to take a few deep breaths and control your emotions. Ignore the verbal abuser and walk away.

5

Act Uninterested during the Verbal Attack

Your verbal abuser wants to get a reaction from you at all costs. He disregards the way that you feel and often he gets pleasure from breaking you down emotionally. He will say mean and hurtful things until you react to him. If you want to turn the tables and frustrate him, act uninterested and bored in whatever he says. Never let him see that he affects your emotions by crying, screaming or lashing out with words because that tells him that he is in control of your thoughts and feelings and nothing could be further from the truth.

Famous Quotes

If you have a harem of 40 women, you never get to know any of them very well.

Warren Buffett
6

Write in a Journal

A journal is a great way to vent and release anything you feel, like rage, confusion and hurt that you are feeling deep inside. These powerful feelings must be expressed in some way because they can make you miserable when they are bottled up. If you don’t feel like writing, then draw a picture that depicts your emotions. These creative outlets of expression can help you process your feelings.

7

Discuss the Issue

If you think the verbal abuser may change, talk to him about the way his behavior makes you feel when he (insults you, criticizes you, makes sarcastic comments, belittles you). Tell him you are no longer allowing anyone to mistreat you. Tell him how you would like to be treated. Know that many verbal abusers won’t change unless they seek counseling. Unfortunately, even though you see how dysfunctional verbal abuse is, you can’t change your abuser unless he wants to change.

8

Don’t Suffer in Silence

Talk to someone that you can trust like a friend of the family, a relative, teacher or school counselor about the verbal abuse. Ask them if they know of any good ways on how to deal with a verbally abusive family. Have this person talk to your verbal abuser about his behavior. Reach out to someone... you don’t need to go through this alone. Although you could explain to the verbal abuser that his words hurt you until you are blue in the face, he will likely not take your feelings seriously and will probably make you feel worse about this serious issue.

Having to cope with a verbally abusive family is extremely challenging. Learning ways on how to deal with a verbally abusive family can help you become a positive confident person even if you are going through this tough situation. Remember girls, you have a lot of amazing qualities to offer this world. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Do you have any other good ways to cope with verbal abuse?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

My second point can help your mind set. If you know that the nasty things that are been said in reality describe the person saying them and not you. In my mind the 5th point is also important. End the circle of abuse by recognising that you might repeat the pattern.

1. Know that the abuser feels powerless. 2. Understand that the words the abuser uses in reality describe him or her self. 2. Pretending to ignore the abuser will only fuel his or hers feeling of powerlessness and make the behaviour worse. 3. Your only answer should be calmly to say " Don't talk to me like that". 4. Tell about the abuse to other family members, friend or a teacher. 5. When you have been subjected to abuse by your parents as a child, you are more likely to abuse your children yourself.

Dear Fatin. I did not wright this article, I only made some comments. Realising that you are being abused is the first step to stop it. It can become an almost family tradition to have a go at Fatin. If you have a good friend then role play with him or her how to react to abuse. Train yourself to stand up and say NO MORE. Old habits are hard to break both for you and for the abuser. If I can help you in any way please ask and I'll try my best. Remember you are the best Fatin in the world.

With all honesty and respect, this list is useless. Ignoring the abuser just makes them think it's okay to say what they want. My family has been verbally abusing me for as long as I can remember and I haven't said a word, and that hasn't made them stop. I say fight back and not keep quiet.

The sad thing is I think I'll kill myself because of my abuse. My mom insults and my dad too. Worse my family in Ecuador.

super!

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