What are some hints you might be suffering emotional abuse? People often think of abuse in a relationship as only being physical, but an emotionally abusive partner can do a lot of damage. Emotional abuse can destroy your self-confidence, yet make you think that you can't cope without the person who's doing it to you. These people can be very clever. Here are some of the hints you might be suffering emotional abuse …

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1. You've Been Isolated

One of the hints you might be suffering emotional abuse is if your partner has managed to isolate you from family and friends. They want to have all your attention and make you dependent on them alone. A warning sign could be that they've persuaded you to move away from your home town, so that you've got nobody else to turn to, or that they get jealous when you want to spend time with other people.

2. Deflecting the Blame

Does your partner always manage to make you feel that you're at fault? Or do they actually blame you outright? Abusers like to deflect the blame and turn it around to make you feel that you've done something wrong, even when they're the one who's at fault. They'll often do this as a distraction and make it all about you and your perceived faults.

3. Checking up

It's one thing calling to check if you'll be home for dinner, and another to check up on your whereabouts all the time. If your partner wants to know where you are every minute of the day, they're being unreasonable. You don't have to explain where you are all the time; if they don't trust you then they shouldn't be in a relationship with you.

4. Over Critical

Emotional abusers may also wear down your self-confidence by criticising everything that you do. I speak from personal experience, having a family member that destroyed my self-confidence by sneering at everything I said or did. A partner who is overly critical and makes you feel that your appearance, achievements or opinions are wrong is definitely being emotionally abusive.

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5. Finances

Some people are happy to let their partner take care of finances, and it can work very well if they're more responsible with money than you are. But if your partner is dictating what you do with your money, there's a problem. Controlling partners may tell you off for how you spend your money, or try to actually take control of finances against your will.

6. Making Fun

Does your partner make fun of you even though it upsets you? Do they say things like 'it's just a joke, have a sense of humor'? Someone who cares about you won't make fun of you when you make it clear that you don't like it; an abusive person ignores your feelings.

7. Guilt Trips

Finally, does your partner attempt to guilt trip you so that they can get their own way? If they insist you'd do what they want if you loved them, or imply that you'll be at fault, they're trying to manipulate you. And anyone who threatens to harm themselves unless you do what they want has a major problem.

Emotional abuse doesn't just happen in relationships; it can also happen in families. So keep alert for signs that it could be happening to you. Have you ever known someone who's manipulative?

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Southern
2015-01-20T21:21:56.093Z
Vanity, I believe the expression is "Nip it in the bud" not butt.
Vanity
2015-01-30T06:29:28.369Z
@Mona I just read your response, thank you. Your words have really given me courage. I plan to stand up for myself and be honest, I don't think we're meant to be. This girl is not going to settle!
Liv2sport_01
2015-01-20T18:38:37.659Z
My boyfriend does close to all of these things to me almost every day! I don't know what to do about it I've tried telling him how he's being and he just tells me it's not that way. I am stuck trying to figure out what I should do? We have a ten month old son and he was a great person and still is a great person to other people. I can't stand to be around him any more but I do still love him.
Cecile
2015-01-20T17:11:52.381Z
My dad
Hollie
2015-01-20T17:46:00.962Z
I think I'm guilty of a few of these. Better to realise now rather than later
Splashhhh
2015-01-20T21:53:48.378Z
When a person is in such relationship and they have kids it gets waaaay worse couse it effect the kids alot znd they treat there children the same way unfortunatly
Vanity
2015-03-03T05:36:23.827Z
Hi ladies. I just wanted to share with you that this post really was an eye opener, so much that I did break things off with my boyfriend of 10 months. I first packed all my thing and secretly took them from his place, then I told him we were on a break on a Saturday morning, and the very next Saturday I met him to break up with him in person at a restaurant. I was surprised that he had written me a 14 page letter explaining why he understood that I was breaking up with him and all of his faults that he desperately needed to work on. I had never seen him cry or beg so hard for another chance although we had apart broken up several times for his emotionally abusive personality and insecurities. Despite all he had put me through something deep down in my gut that had once told me I should leave him, was now telling me that I was making the wrong choice. I felt that knot in my throat kind of feeling and I decided to re-read his letter full of ideas that would help fix our relationship. I gave him another chance and I have not regretted it yet. We have been back together for the last 3 weeks and it's been magical. We are open with each other, he is so damn sweet and affectionate (something he struggled with before), he has begun seeing a therapist to aid him in over coming past personal struggles as well as healing wounds from past relationships. His best idea was to tell each other each day something we like about one another and something about our past, and it's really done wonders for us. I know that we will have arguments like any other relationship, but we are willing to communicate things that bother each other and it's very helpful. He is trying so hard to change his ways, and I can tell that this man wants to serve me the world on a silver platter. If this isn't love then I'm not sure I'll ever know what it is, we truly make each other want to be better human beings. PS - I showed him this article the day we met at a restaurant to break up and to my surprise he didn't deny any of the things listed... I guess that's how I knew that there was hope. I hope that he will be my "Happy Ending."
Jackie
2015-01-20T17:48:13.775Z
My ex husband put me thru all of this and escalated to physical abuse. Almost killed me. Also my only brother in life emotionally abused me all my life. Still does every chance he gets
Erica
2016-01-26T19:44:03.158Z
I'm 27 and I've been seeing someone consistently but on and off for a year now; he's 10 years older than me but I'm pretty mature for my age so I never saw age as a factor in our relationship. I noticed along the way my guy had a lot of hurt inside of him and he dealt with things in heightened level of anger or emotion. If I didn't call him at the end of the night and instead of him just calling me he would call and start an argument on why I didn't call him, stating I must not care to speak to him, etc. In the beginning he was a blessing in disguise. He built me up and showed me how I deserved to be treated like a princess or queen that I am. Put me first and that was something I wasn't use to in my past relationships, but as our connection grew and relationship continued to move forward we would get into irrational arguments over the most dumbest things, for instance if he says the sky is blue and I say well no not right now it's a bit grey, he goes from 0-10 and it turns into me over thinking something or being extra. We're now at a point where he puts me down for things I don't do for him or calls me selfish. When we're good were good, we get along great he makes me laugh, made me feel very comfortable early on and I can talk to him about anything except when I say something that he thinks sounds dumb or doesn't make sense. He makes it his job to get upset about it and make sure I know it's dumb and doesn't make sense. In the end making me feel crappy and my spirit broken because we were just happy now we're in a situation. He's good guy with a really big heart and I think the passion in him comes off strong and the people in his life before me have enabled him to think how he handles things are okay because they back down from him instead of correcting him. I have a big mouth and I use it; if I feel a way I will speak on it and that's where we differ. I know I challenge who he is because as much as he doesn't want to explain himself or his actions he does time and time again. I know he cares for me deeply, but I also know he has some work to do with himself as well. I think I've finally reached a point to walk away from him for good without giving into my feelings. Just hoping that my absence in his life will make him see his faults and take accountability to make a change for the better for himself, possibly for me or possibly for the next woman that walks into his life.
Sapna
2015-01-20T17:43:02.816Z
I have suffered from one partner who had these issues n trust me ain't good emotional soon spins off to physical luckily I broke up with him