7 Hints You Might Be Suffering Emotional Abuse ...

Alison Mar 23, 2021

7 Hints You Might Be Suffering Emotional Abuse ...
7 Hints You Might Be Suffering Emotional Abuse ...

What are some hints you might be suffering emotional abuse? People often think of abuse in a relationship as only being physical, but an emotionally abusive partner can do a lot of damage. Emotional abuse can destroy your self-confidence, yet make you think that you can't cope without the person who's doing it to you. These people can be very clever. Here are some of the hints you might be suffering emotional abuse …

1. You've Been Isolated

One of the hints you might be suffering emotional abuse is if your partner has managed to isolate you from family and friends. They want to have all your attention and make you dependent on them alone. A warning sign could be that they've persuaded you to move away from your home town, so that you've got nobody else to turn to, or that they get jealous when you want to spend time with other people.

2. Deflecting the Blame

Does your partner always manage to make you feel that you're at fault? Or do they actually blame you outright? Abusers like to deflect the blame and turn it around to make you feel that you've done something wrong, even when they're the one who's at fault. They'll often do this as a distraction and make it all about you and your perceived faults.

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3. Checking up

It's one thing calling to check if you'll be home for dinner, and another to check up on your whereabouts all the time. If your partner wants to know where you are every minute of the day, they're being unreasonable. You don't have to explain where you are all the time; if they don't trust you then they shouldn't be in a relationship with you.

4. Over Critical

Emotional abusers may also wear down your self-confidence by criticising everything that you do. I speak from personal experience, having a family member that destroyed my self-confidence by sneering at everything I said or did. A partner who is overly critical and makes you feel that your appearance, achievements or opinions are wrong is definitely being emotionally abusive.

5. Finances

Some people are happy to let their partner take care of finances, and it can work very well if they're more responsible with money than you are. But if your partner is dictating what you do with your money, there's a problem. Controlling partners may tell you off for how you spend your money, or try to actually take control of finances against your will.

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6. Making Fun

Does your partner make fun of you even though it upsets you? Do they say things like 'it's just a joke, have a sense of humor'? Someone who cares about you won't make fun of you when you make it clear that you don't like it; an abusive person ignores your feelings.

7. Guilt Trips

Finally, does your partner attempt to guilt trip you so that they can get their own way? If they insist you'd do what they want if you loved them, or imply that you'll be at fault, they're trying to manipulate you. And anyone who threatens to harm themselves unless you do what they want has a major problem.

Emotional abuse doesn't just happen in relationships; it can also happen in families. So keep alert for signs that it could be happening to you. Have you ever known someone who's manipulative?

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@holls thank you. I have a terrible feeling in my gut. I tend to see the good in people, which is sometimes not the best thing for me. I badly want to share this post with him, but I'm afraid he'll feel like I'm attacking him and then say that he isn't like that. I was in a physically abusive relationship for 2 &1/2 years before my current relationship of 10 months. I feel like I'm smarter this time around, it doesn't feel the same... But maybe I'm not seeing the signs. It's hard to initiate a break up, especially when I'm afraid to make a mistake. What if he's the one and I'm supposed to help him see things clearly. Thanks again for the advice.

@vanity hey, I read your post and just thought a word from experience might help. I have been with a man with all of the above characteristics listed above for almost 2 years, he was my first boyfriend and I gave in to him for everything to make him happy, always felt like I was walking on eggshells. Initiating the break up is hard, and trust me I understand that, but believe me, they don't change. Even if they tell you they have, it's only about time until they snap back into the same cycle because it is who they are. And the thing you mentioned about your GUT, it's true, pay attention to it, don't ignore it, I did and it left me heart broken in ways I can't explain. Don't be afraid about making a mistake, Cus even if it is one, it's still your life and you get to choose what you do with it! I hope it helped a little bit, good luck! :)

My dad

When a person is in such relationship and they have kids it gets waaaay worse couse it effect the kids alot znd they treat there children the same way unfortunatly

My boyfriend does close to all of these things to me almost every day! I don't know what to do about it I've tried telling him how he's being and he just tells me it's not that way. I am stuck trying to figure out what I should do? We have a ten month old son and he was a great person and still is a great person to other people. I can't stand to be around him any more but I do still love him.

Vanity, I believe the expression is "Nip it in the bud" not butt.

My ex was like that. Always putting me down, always asking me to lend him money and never paying me back. Always saying nasty things about my family and being so two-faced. Being nice to my face in public and then being nasty in private. He put me through hell for almost 5 years. Thank God it's over between us both but it made me feel so scared about trusting someone again. I hated all men for a while until now. I've finally found someone who doesn't have a bad bone in his body but who is just full of love for me. Always caring, understanding, everything that I've ever wanted in a man. I feel so blessed that I've found him and I never can imagine going through all the hell my ex put me through. I won't ever forget it but it will always be a life lesson I'll always learn.

I think I'm guilty of a few of these. Better to realise now rather than later

@vanity : To be honest, only he has the power to change his habits. I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship and he never wanted to get better. I had to be the one who made all the changes. (Even though it wasn't all my fault.) I don't have the experience of someone changing their habits but generally most abusers don't. My ex's dad was (and I imagine still is) emotionally abusive and that's where my ex learned those habits. So unless he comes to you and tells you he's getting counselling to get better, take his words with a grain of salt for now. I wish I had better advice to give you.

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