We've all been there, sometimes things happen that lead us to look for ways to calm down because we've gotten so angry and upset. Maybe you just heard that someone was talking bad behind your back or your spouse is getting on your case about something you don't want to discuss. Whatever the reason, trying to fight back out of anger is never the right solution. So here are 8 ways to calm down when you're mad for you to use when things just aren't going your way!
1. Just Breathe
One of the best and simplest ways to calm down when you're mad is to just breathe! Your first instinct might be to open your mouth and say (or shout) something that you may regret later. Instead, close it and breathe! Taking a breath buys you time to step back, put things in perspective, and bite your tongue before you say something. Not to mention that when you're angry, your body tenses up and restricts your breathing. So just breathe!
2. Remove Yourself
Removing yourself is a very effective way to calm yourself down when angry. If something or someone in your office is making you angry, step outside for a short walk or to get a tea. If your spouse or kids are making you angry, go for a drive or take a shower. You can use this time to clear your thoughts and look at the big picture. Usually you will realize that whatever is bothering you is not as important as it seemed at the time. It also gives you time to think of a solution.
3. Write It out
Sometimes, finding that emotional release can be as simple as putting your feelings into words. So grab your computer (or a pen and some paper) and write out your thoughts and feelings. However, be sure that afterwards, you just keep them to yourself. Sending your thoughts on paper to someone is never a safe thing to do. You never know who else's hands they may end up in!
4. Find a Little Love
Good friends or significant others can be the perfect source for support in difficult situations. If you can sneak in a quick text, call, or meet up with a friend, significant other, or family member, it might just be enough to talk you down. The personal boost of hearing advice from a familiar and friendly voice can go a long way in cheering you up or reminding you that there is more to life than the current predicament. They can also reassure you that you did the right thing or let you know if they think you were in the wrong and how to fix it.
5. Create a Happy Place
Taking a few minutes to peruse something you like can give you a happy mental escape. So if you need to calm down after a particularly anger-inducing moment, look through the All Women Stalk feed, Google search baby animals, check out the latest Forever 21 sale, or get in a couple rounds of your favorite mobile phone game at lunch. Taking that short break to distract yourself or focus on something that makes you happy can ease your stress and help to put you in a better mood.
When you still feel anger after a confrontation, one of the best first steps is to engage in a physical activity such as exercising. Your body needs a physical outlet because it’s aggravated, tense and prepared for a fight or flight response. It would be unhealthy to internalize these feelings. Plus, exercising as a way to calm down has the added plus of helping you to lose weight and stay healthy! Just a few minutes of walking, jogging or lifting weights will let you decompress. Your blood pressure, heart rate and breathing will normalize and you’ll feel like yourself again. Even better if you can find a nice and relaxing park to walk in on a nice sunny day.
7. Listen to Music
The great thing about music is that there is a song to fit every mood! Whenever you're feeling angry, just listen to some calming or joyful music. Stay away from any heavy metal artists or any other angry songs, as this may just fuel the fire. Some great artists to calm you down would be Mumford & Sons or Bon Iver. Some artists to stay away from when you're angry are Linkin Park or Eminem.
8. Chill out
You know, the expression "chill out" may hold some truth to it. Try stepping outside or into a colder room when you're feeling angry. Think about it, in the summer, people have shorter tempers because the heat is agitating them. Same thing happens when you get angry in a room that is a little too warm. The second you put yourself in a cooler setting, you will be able to breath better and calm down.
Remember, DO NOT get wasted, drunk, or loaded as a way to calm down! In most cases, these self-destructive habits will make things worse, since you might do or say something stupid when drunk. How do you calm yourself down when you're angry or upset? I myself have a "happiness" board on my Pinterest that I look at and it makes me smile instantly.