Are you wondering what to do if your spouse has erectile dysfunction, also called ED?
Many couples battle with this problem, though most do so silently. It is an embarrassing situation, both for the man and the woman in an intimate relationship. Just how do you tell anyone, family members or friends, that your man has an issue getting it up?
It is because of this that some women simply wallow in sexual dissatisfaction or play the cheating game?
That needn’t be the case for you.
And if you happen to know a friend struggling with this problem, share this with her. These are practical and tested answers for what to do if your spouse has erectile dysfunction.
1. It's Not about You
First off, get it out of your mind that the reason your man isn’t able to sustain his erection, is because he doesn’t find you attractive or sexy enough. Erectile dysfunction is a genuine problem, one I’m sure that he wants to overcome.
Trying hard to impress him by going out of your way to makeup and dress down is good, but ultimately, it’s not your fault that he has the issue. It’s deeper than you think. So, what to do if your spouse has erectile dysfunction?
2. Have a Heart-to-Heart
After a sour love-making attempt, ignoring him in the morning isn’t going to help the situation. Instead, try talking to him. Find out what’s going on with him. Ask him if it's something he notices other symptoms of or if he's feeling depressed or ill. If he sees that you’re sincere, he’s more likely to open up and talk about his worries. Because, a lot of the time, the problem can be psychological.
3. Show Support
Since erectile dysfunction and loss of libido can be the result of psychological pressure, it is important that you demonstrate absolute support and understanding to your spouse while he’s trying to deal with this embarrassing situation. Most men feel torn apart if they think their women find them sexually inept.
You must consciously help him rebuild his confidence, both in public and in the bedroom. Don’t use the issue to nag, complain or berate him. Remember, you’re both in it together. You have to reassure him of your love and commitment to the relationship.
That’s really the first step to handling the sexual quagmire in your relationship.
The second step is to encourage him to get help by visiting a doctor or a therapist. Kindly and lovingly insist that he makes an appointment right away. Even offer to go with him, and hold his hand while you’re there. That may be all he needs to get back his sexual and emotional balance.
4. Who to Speak to
This is very important as well. Like mentioned above, you must bring the challenge you’re having in your sex life before a qualified professional, like a medical doctor or a love and relationship expert who can proffer realistic options to you. If you have a sensible friend that you’re sure can be of help, you can talk about it together and hear what she has to say.
But going around town and telling all your girlfriends who care to listen, that your man can’t get his game up is negative publicity and will surely land you in distress. Unless he says it's ok, keep talk about the problem between the two of you and his doctor.
5. The Age Factor
Due to aging, there may be some hardening of arteries in the vessels that supply blood flow to the penis. A diminished blood supply affects the speed at which an erection occurs and how long it is sustained. Also, the process of aging can cause some blood to flow back out of the penis. This will very likely affect the firmness of the erection. This experience quite normal.
But age isn’t the only cause of ED. In men below age 50, psychological factors such as depression, stress and anxiety are sufficient enough to cause diminished sexual experience. Lord knows, there are a lot of things to worry about nowadays.
6. Other Risk Factors
Some likely causes of erectile dysfunction include diseases, such as hypertension and stroke, cardiovascular disease and diabetes, as well as high cholesterol level and prostate disorders. Others are poor diet (too much sugar, caffeine and alcohol) and smoking cigarettes. All the above increase the risk of having ED at any point in life.
Also, anger or resentment, feelings of guilt or strong fear can cause a drastic decline in libido. As you must know, intercourse is as much a mental experience as it is a physical one. A man with his mind elsewhere can have problems keeping up his erection.
And just so you know, ED is not the same as impotence. The fact that your man is having it now doesn’t mean he’s impotent. In fact, erectile dysfunction can be addressed within a couple of weeks, sometimes without even needing to go to the doctor.
7. The Solution
Once a man knows he has problems getting, and keeping, an erection, the best bet is for him (with your support, remember) is to consult a qualified physician who will determine the likely cause, or causes, of his situation and what treatment will be suitable for him. But never embark on self-medication. You could worsen the situation. If he has taken any drugs before visiting his doctor, ask him to be upfront about it.
Meanwhile, here are a number of herbs and food sources that are good for treating impotence, low libido and ED. Use them with a doctor's recommendation.
- Gingkao biloba
- Tribulus terrestris
- Avena sativa
- Stinging nettle
- Muira pauma extract
- Saw palmetto
- Zinc (food sources like oysters, poultry, pumpkin seeds)
And, wait for it - exercise helps too!