What is Trauma Bonding? 💔Everything 👐You Should Know 💭 ...


After you read that title, you're probably wondering what is trauma bonding? It is clear that bonding with other people is a biological and almost instinctual thing. It is a somewhat of a long process and takes time. People are able to bond over all kinds of different reasons and those reasons can grow stronger over a time.

For example, I bonded with my husband over what I thought were similar interests and of course what I thought was love for one another. We spent a lot of time together, made love, went out on dates, and I thought we grew together as a couple. We went through some bad experiences together and I thought our bond grew even deeper (Silly me). At the time, I didn’t know that I was being used and manipulated, but I digress.

Bonding makes people even more important to each other and doesn’t allow outside forces in. People lose friends and family because all that they are focused on is this relationship with this one individual. They fight and make up. They argue and make up. One punches the other in the face, apologizes and all is good in the world. Someone in the family suddenly passes away and this makes for a bonding experience. Bonding is not something that can be easily lost, if at all, unlike love, trust, or attractions.

Understanding trauma bonding can help you move on from a bad relationship and still live a full and happy life.

1. Bonding and WHY It Can Become Dangerous

So, what is trauma bonding? The above experiences are sometimes what makes an abusive relationship almost impossible to get out of. The longer that relationship continues, the more toxic it becomes, and the harder it becomes to walk away. But why is it hard? Why is it hard to walk away from someone who hurts you, bullies you, and abuses you physically, but also verbally, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically? Because you are afraid to lose that bond. I was once afraid to leave my first relationship even though it was full of abuse and degradation, but I felt like I didn’t deserve any better, and on top of that, I had formed such a strong bond with this guy that it was almost impossible to walk away. But I had to leave, I was younger and he was older. I suffered tremendously but it was so HARD to leave him. It was hard, but I did it. It is not always wise to judge whether the decision to leave is the right one because it is hard, it will ALWAYS be hard and cause horrific pain. My marriage, or lack thereof, is really no different.

How a Person Grows up
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