Losing a child is something that all parents fear will happen to them. Parents work hard to protect their children and keep harm from ever coming to them, but there will always be circumstances that are out of the control of parents. No matter how healthy a mother is during pregnancy, there are always going to be instances where a miscarriage occurs; no matter what precautions were taken. If you know of someone who has recently gone through this horrible experience or if you have personally had such an incident occur in your life, then the following information might be very useful to you or your friend. Here are 7 ways to cope with a miscarriage.
7. Keep Yourself Busy
There’s nothing wrong with thinking about the miscarriage and how it affects you and your family, but it’s going to cause more stress if you dwell on it. Try to keep busy with things around the house, enjoy time with friends, take up a hobby, or get into exercising. I remember the more time I spent alone, the more I thought about my miscarriage. I would end up sobbing until I could barely breathe. Divert your thoughts when you can and focus on keeping busy with something that makes you happy!
6. Don’t Shut Yourself off from Everyone else
This is a difficult one. Right after my miscarriage I didn’t want to talk to anyone. This is hard when you have young children. They don’t understand why Mom is so sad and doesn’t want to play with them. Alone time is still good to have, but don’t completely shut everyone out of your life. This will only cause you to sink further into a state of depression.
5. Take Some Time Away from Work
Heading back to work and trying to focus on the task at hand is near to impossible after something as traumatic as a miscarriage occurs. Take time off and try to refocus on your family and how much they mean to you. Hopefully your boss is able to allow you a decent amount of time off, so you can regain your thoughts and composure. Coworkers tend to mean well by giving their condolences on your loss, but I found that this set me over the edge and I spent more time in the bathroom crying than I did at my desk. Trying to head back to work too soon can make things much harder than they need to be.
4. Realize It Isn’t Your Fault
It took my many years to finally come to terms with myself on this one. There was nothing I could have possibly done to prevent the miscarriage. Nothing. I ate healthy, walked regularly, had scheduled check-ups with the doctor, and took my vitamins. People are very good at laying the blame on themselves. Try not to torture yourself in this manner. It’s also beneficial for your relationship if you don’t try to pin the blame on your partner either.
3. Allow Time to Grieve
I shed many, many, many tears after the miscarriage happened. It’s alright to grieve. Holding in the pain and sorrow felt will only cause you mental anguish, either immediately or further down the road. Give in to those tears and allow yourself to feel at least some pain from the loss. This reaction is perfectly normal and healthy.
2. Speak with a Counselor
Professionals who help people deal with personal issues, such as a miscarriage, are able to be contacted very easily. Talk to your doctor to find out who he/she might recommend for you. Counselors will most likely tell you many of the things I’ve already mentioned. These individuals are extremely helpful and can help you deal with your loss in an effective manner and help you keep on living a good life with the people who care deeply about you.
1. Talk to Your Partner
You aren’t the only one who is affected by the miscarriage. Remember that your partner has also lost a child. He may not have been the one carrying the child, but he still feels sorrow. Try to comfort one another and talk about how it made you feel. Getting your feelings and frustrations out in the open tends to help the grieving process.
These 7 ways to cope with a miscarriage are all ones that helped me immensely. Granted, there are a few that I should have done much sooner than I did. I probably would have been able to get on with my life much sooner if I had! I hope these help you as much as they did me. Do you have other ways that have helped you to deal with a life-changing issue?
Top Photo Credit: abbie.