It's important for women everywhere to know the cold hard facts about their bodies. Unfortunately, sexual education doesn't teach us nearly enough about sex. Unless you have parents or an older sibling who is open enough to talk to you about the birds and the bees, you might have some dangerous misconceptions about sex. However, it's time to change that, because here are a few lies you've been told about losing your virginity:
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1. It's Going to Hurt
Sex will feel uncomfortable the first few times you do it, but it certainly shouldn't hurt as much as people say it will. The reason why most women are in pain the first time is due to a lack of preparation. You need to make sure that you engage in enough foreplay to lubricate yourself down there. If you're dry, then you're going to be in a lot of pain and might even bleed. That's why you need to take things slow and make sure you're physically and mentally ready before you let your boyfriend touch you.
2. You Should Be a Certain Age
When you turn on the TV, everyone everywhere is having sex. However, you don't have to do it while you're still in high school or while you're in college. There's nothing wrong with waiting until you're completely ready, even if that means you're going to wait until your 20s or until you're married. Any friends who tease you about still being a virgin aren't worth your time.
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3. Sex Requires a Penis and Vagina
Intercourse doesn't have to include penetration. The actual definition is "sexual activity between two people." That means it's up to you to create your own definition of sex. Some people consider oral to be sex. Some people consider the usage of fingers to be sex. There's no true blue definition, which means you can decide whether you still consider yourself a virgin or not.
4. You're No Longer Innocent
Losing your virginity doesn't mean you're losing your purity. There are plenty of virgins who are naughty and plenty of sexually active individuals who are innocent. There's no correlation between the two.
5. Your Hymen is a Sign of Virginity
There are plenty of virgins who don't have their hymens intact. It can easily tear from physical exercise and you wouldn't even realize it. So a woman without a hymen could certainly still be a virgin.
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6. Sex Will Make Your Vagina Flabby
It doesn't matter how many times you have sex, because your vagina isn't going to get any larger. It acts like a rubber band does. During sex, it'll open up wider than usual, but then it'll go right back to its original size. So you don't have to worry about looking strange down there, because sex won't reshape your body.
7. Sex Will Make a Man Love You
Don't have sex with a guy, because you think it'll make him love you. Unfortunately, sex and love don't always go hand in hand. You can love someone without sleeping with them and you can sleep with someone without loving them. If a boy won't date you now, having sex will only make things worse, not better.
It's important for women everywhere to be aware of the way their bodies work. It's dangerous to have misconceptions about sex and losing your virginity, which is why you should aim to be as informed as possible. What other lies have you been taught about your virginity?
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Comments
Brittanymadison: Thank you for this! This really needs to be plastered on a sign for all to see. Sex is a huge part of our lives now-a-days and its so crucial for girls growing up to know that a guy will not love you just because he'll have sex with you. He'll have sex with anything that has a pulse. Being sexual is a beautiful thing when it's the right time for YOU not anyone else. It doesn't make you bad or naughty. As long as you're being safe and it makes you happy because you're happiness should come above all. (Rant over) lol 😜
Anna: simple question: what does sex feel like...what is the fun part of it..why do human have sex apart from the danger of dying out..?
NMGreenChile: Good article! As a retired high school teacher, I would like to clarify a few things and help. EMILY, almost everything Holly wrote applies to gays and lesbians, too. TRUE ALWAYS, there are many points of view about sexuality that should be respected. Certainly, waiting until you are married is a good idea, but it is not the *only* good idea, nor is it a requirement of all religions. In a large, diverse forum such as AWS, it seems wise to respect others' rights to their own values and beliefs. And last but not least, let's remember that *most* types of sexual activity can potentially result in STDs, and so be sure to educate yourself about safe sex.
kendall: Love this article! So many women need to read this
SarahEC: This article was thoughtful, but certainly not extensive. I really applaud the author for addressing this. I hope women receive the compassion they deserve, and realize that your primary relationship is with YOURSELF. Sex is why we are all able to experience life on this planet. More conversation excluding shame is positive! Yay for safer sex!
dolapo: Also virginity is more of A social construct than anything else
AlexChambers: I wish you included religion somewhere in here, I hate when people assume that a girl is saving herself for religious reasons rather than doing it for herself.
True: I strongly disagree with 3 and 4 if you teach this then there will be tons of stds unwed mothers pregnant, divorce rates and child support. Religious books and other spiritual leaders describe fornication out of marriage as impure. You are lying and fooling yourself if you consider yourself having premarital relations. I am only going to be with my future husband(One I love). You are not pure if you indulge in any kind of sex. People having sex pass stds around a virgin can not. Honestly a virgin and a non virgin will not get along and some cultures do not accept non virgin for marriages. I will never cheat my family and most of all myself. So these two statements are rubbish. How ever I strongly agree with last one dont be physical with a guy for love because it will get you a lifetime of regret. Thanks to my strong values and morals I dont believe in riding deluded boats. We should educate our girls strongly about this. I dont know who the author is but above statements get your facts right
Emily: What about homosexuals?
Lisa: Great article
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