7 Hints You Might Be Suffering Emotional Abuse ...

7 Hints You Might Be Suffering Emotional Abuse ...
By Alison • Mar 23, 2021 MD

What are some hints you might be suffering emotional abuse? People often think of abuse in a relationship as only being physical, but an emotionally abusive partner can do a lot of damage. Emotional abuse can destroy your self-confidence, yet make you think that you can't cope without the person who's doing it to you. These people can be very clever. Here are some of the hints you might be suffering emotional abuse …

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1. You've Been Isolated

One of the hints you might be suffering emotional abuse is if your partner has managed to isolate you from family and friends. They want to have all your attention and make you dependent on them alone. A warning sign could be that they've persuaded you to move away from your home town, so that you've got nobody else to turn to, or that they get jealous when you want to spend time with other people.

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2. Deflecting the Blame

Does your partner always manage to make you feel that you're at fault? Or do they actually blame you outright? Abusers like to deflect the blame and turn it around to make you feel that you've done something wrong, even when they're the one who's at fault. They'll often do this as a distraction and make it all about you and your perceived faults.

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3. Checking up

It's one thing calling to check if you'll be home for dinner, and another to check up on your whereabouts all the time. If your partner wants to know where you are every minute of the day, they're being unreasonable. You don't have to explain where you are all the time; if they don't trust you then they shouldn't be in a relationship with you.

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4. Over Critical

Emotional abusers may also wear down your self-confidence by criticising everything that you do. I speak from personal experience, having a family member that destroyed my self-confidence by sneering at everything I said or did. A partner who is overly critical and makes you feel that your appearance, achievements or opinions are wrong is definitely being emotionally abusive.

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5. Finances

Some people are happy to let their partner take care of finances, and it can work very well if they're more responsible with money than you are. But if your partner is dictating what you do with your money, there's a problem. Controlling partners may tell you off for how you spend your money, or try to actually take control of finances against your will.

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6. Making Fun

Does your partner make fun of you even though it upsets you? Do they say things like 'it's just a joke, have a sense of humor'? Someone who cares about you won't make fun of you when you make it clear that you don't like it; an abusive person ignores your feelings.

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7. Guilt Trips

Finally, does your partner attempt to guilt trip you so that they can get their own way? If they insist you'd do what they want if you loved them, or imply that you'll be at fault, they're trying to manipulate you. And anyone who threatens to harm themselves unless you do what they want has a major problem.

Emotional abuse doesn't just happen in relationships; it can also happen in families. So keep alert for signs that it could be happening to you. Have you ever known someone who's manipulative?

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Jasmine

    2015-01-24T17:11:29.092Z

    I do this sometimes unintentionally 😔
  • Vanity

    2015-03-03T05:36:23.827Z

    Hi ladies. I just wanted to share with you that this post really was an eye opener, so much that I did break things off with my boyfriend of 10 months. I first packed all my thing and secretly took them from his place, then I told him we were on a break on a Saturday morning, and the very next Saturday I met him to break up with him in person at a restaurant. I was surprised that he had written me a 14 page letter explaining why he understood that I was breaking up with him and all of his faults that he desperately needed to work on. I had never seen him cry or beg so hard for another chance although we had apart broken up several times for his emotionally abusive personality and insecurities. Despite all he had put me through something deep down in my gut that had once told me I should leave him, was now telling me that I was making the wrong choice. I felt that knot in my throat kind of feeling and I decided to re-read his letter full of ideas that would help fix our relationship. I gave him another chance and I have not regretted it yet. We have been back together for the last 3 weeks and it's been magical. We are open with each other, he is so damn sweet and affectionate (something he struggled with before), he has begun seeing a therapist to aid him in over coming past personal struggles as well as healing wounds from past relationships. His best idea was to tell each other each day something we like about one another and something about our past, and it's really done wonders for us. I know that we will have arguments like any other relationship, but we are willing to communicate things that bother each other and it's very helpful. He is trying so hard to change his ways, and I can tell that this man wants to serve me the world on a silver platter. If this isn't love then I'm not sure I'll ever know what it is, we truly make each other want to be better human beings. PS - I showed him this article the day we met at a restaurant to break up and to my surprise he didn't deny any of the things listed... I guess that's how I knew that there was hope. I hope that he will be my "Happy Ending."
  • Sara

    2015-01-21T12:56:28.212Z

    *list
  • Alex

    2015-01-20T21:31:05.200Z

    My ex was like that. Always putting me down, always asking me to lend him money and never paying me back. Always saying nasty things about my family and being so two-faced. Being nice to my face in public and then being nasty in private. He put me through hell for almost 5 years. Thank God it's over between us both but it made me feel so scared about trusting someone again. I hated all men for a while until now. I've finally found someone who doesn't have a bad bone in his body but who is just full of love for me. Always caring, understanding, everything that I've ever wanted in a man. I feel so blessed that I've found him and I never can imagine going through all the hell my ex put me through. I won't ever forget it but it will always be a life lesson I'll always learn.
  • Beryl

    2015-01-21T22:37:48.198Z

    Always remember there are plenty more fish in the sea and pebbles on the beach. Be by yourself is better than being with the wrong person who does not value you. Pick yourself up,dust yourself down and start afresh without this person in your life. Life is too short for being the doormat.
  • Spa

    2015-01-20T21:50:32.292Z

    These are excellent points. I was in the same boat that a lot of you were in: emotionally abusive bf and it seemed like there was no way out. And I thought I loved him. But I'm telling you, it is much better to be alone than with that person. Start making plans on how to move out and away from them and BE SAFE!! I wish I didn't suffer for three years with that guy. Actually this site opened my eyes to what he was doing. It's not healthy and he's no good for you. You need to heal away from him, if you've raised concerned and he won't stop its time to get serious about it. My thoughts are with anyone going through this ❤️
  • Cecile

    2015-01-20T17:11:52.381Z

    My dad
  • holls

    2015-01-21T01:54:14.290Z

    @vanity : To be honest, only he has the power to change his habits. I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship and he never wanted to get better. I had to be the one who made all the changes. (Even though it wasn't all my fault.) I don't have the experience of someone changing their habits but generally most abusers don't. My ex's dad was (and I imagine still is) emotionally abusive and that's where my ex learned those habits. So unless he comes to you and tells you he's getting counselling to get better, take his words with a grain of salt for now. I wish I had better advice to give you.
  • Hollie

    2015-01-20T17:46:00.962Z

    I think I'm guilty of a few of these. Better to realise now rather than later
  • vanity

    2015-01-20T23:07:06.700Z

    @southernbelle thanks, I think. I was more looking for advice about my situation, not just my grammar. But really is there anyone who has experienced there partner recognizing and fixing these terrible habits??
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